Laura Emily, Untitled (for now) digital concept sketch, 2022
Hello there,
This blog is something I’ve wanted to do forever but unfortunately has taken a back seat and that’s mainly because I’ve always felt too busy and really, haven't had much in ways of topics to blog about. But since I had my baby 4 months ago, I’ve had more time to sit down, slow down, think about my life and where I’m going and that has had a huge impact on me.
I’ve mostly been thinking about my future. Having a little one to factor in has put pressure on me to find my path. Not that I needed more pressure on that, I’ve had a time complex since my early teens and have always felt like I wasn’t achieving quick enough. But as much as having Milo has put additional pressure on, it’s also allowed for some clarity in that path for the first time in my life.
Sarah Coey, Dathte
I haven’t been happy with my work for a long time and I couldn’t understand why nothing I did made me feel fulfilled, but I’ve recently figured that out. Because I’m not creating in a way that feels natural to me. I’ve said this for a long time but I didn’t know why I felt that way. Whenever I sat down to draw, my way of drawing just came out, so how did it not feel natural? Well that’s because I trained myself to draw in a specific way. I am a self taught artist and that means the skills I have learned are practiced and precise. I had plans on becoming a tattoo artist and so I studied tattoo art, found my influences and taught myself to produce work that fit that style. And after years of doing that, it became muscle memory, second nature.
This realization got me thinking about art. How I feel about it. What I like about it. What it means to me and what I enjoy about it. Art, for me, is an experience. It moves me, it inspires me. It makes me think, it conjures stories. It brings me joy. One of my favourite things about looking at art is looking at texture. As someone who studied fibre art for a degree (which I never finished, hello follow through issues!) textures have always been one of the most enjoyable things in art for me. When ever I see an oil painting or anything stitched, a sculpture or modelling paste piece, I just want to touch it. I’m a handsy person in general. I like anything tactile. It pleases me to feel different textures. I even shop with my hands. My favourite art not only pleases my eyes, but my hands too.
Jingshen You, Abstract 797
Thinking about what I enjoy about art, I realized why I feel so disconnected from my work right now. It’s pleasing me visually, the colours I use, the subject matter, the shapes. But it lacks that tactile pleasure! I’m not creating things I would want to see and interact with. That leaves me with feelings of imposter syndrome, disconnect and ultimately unfulfillment.
Claire Desjardins, My Wildest Dreams
I have changed so much as a person since having my son. Even though it’s only been a few months since he entered my world, he’s changed everything. He’s made me a different person. Still me but completely different at the same time. And although that feels scary, it also feels like a real positive too. I had hoped that my time on maternity would allow me to grow my business, turn it into a full time income perhaps? Allow me to help support my family. But it’s actually done the complete opposite. I closed my website store down. Stopped pushing for sales. And focused on creating purely for joy. And I feel so inspired to create. But my mind is going in a more textural direction. I want to feel the art that I’m making physically as well as mentally and those ideas look so different to what I’ve taught myself to make. It feels like I’m learning and unlearning at the same time. I can’t wait to see the direction my work takes. For the first time, I feel like I can say that in a proactive way. In a way that is truthful and has direction. And I’m excited.